Have you ever felt like different versions of yourself are fighting for your attention? One part of you wants to push forward and take on a new challenge, while another part just wants to hide under a blanket. Or, maybe your inner critic always has something to say, no matter what you do. These parts can often leave you feeling torn, overwhelmed or even stuck. These internal conflicts are a natural part of being human. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy helps you navigate these parts to find greater balance, harmony, and healing. Through “parts work,” you’ll learn how to understand and connect with the different aspects of yourself, gaining insight into your emotions, behaviors, and inner struggles.

What is IFS?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a way of looking at the mind that sees us as made up of different “parts.” Each part has its own voice and personality—some may be protective, some may be anxious, and others might carry deep sadness or fear. Unlike other approaches that focus mainly on your conscious thoughts, IFS invites you to explore the underlying emotions driving your behavior. It’s about listening to each of those voices inside, even the ones that may be hard to hear.

Through “parts work,” you’ll learn to connect with these different aspects of yourself in a gentle, compassionate way. It’s like being a loving parent to your inner world, where you listen to each part and help it feel understood. Over time, this process can bring healing, clarity, and a sense of peace.

What Are Parts, and Why Do They Matter?

Think of your mind as a community, where each part represents a different aspect of who you are. Some parts are strong-willed and protective, while others carry vulnerability or pain. It’s like having a team inside you, with each member playing a specific role. These parts can shape your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in different ways—sometimes in ways that feel conflicting or confusing.

The goal of parts work is not to get rid of certain parts or silence them, but to learn how to explore each part with curiosity and compassion. As you build a healthier relationship with each of your parts, you’ll often find that the ones that seem the most problematic are just trying to help in their own way.

Types of Parts You May Encounter

In IFS, the “Self” is the part of you that’s calm, compassionate, and capable of understanding all the other parts. This is your core, the most evolved and mature self. Parts work is about helping your Self connect with each of the parts so they can work together rather than against each other. The other parts you’ll encounter fall into three different categories based on the roles they play in your life:

Managers

These parts try to keep you safe by managing your life. They might be the inner voice that urges you to stay busy, keep things under control, or put on a brave face. They don’t want you to get hurt, so they do their best to keep everything running smoothly.

Firefighters

When things feel overwhelming, these parts jump in to distract you from emotional pain. They may drive you to binge-watch TV or scroll endlessly on your phone to avoid dealing with discomfort or distress. They’re just trying to put out the “fire” of your emotions, even if their strategies aren’t always healthy.

Exiles

These parts carry difficult emotions like fear, shame or sadness, often from past experiences. They might be a younger part like your “inner child.” Since their feelings are so intense, other parts may try to push them away or “lock them in the basement.” However, they long to be acknowledged and healed.

All your parts have good intentions—even the ones that seem disruptive or problematic. By understanding their needs and motivations, you can help them work together rather than against each other.

How Parts Work Supports Your Healing

Parts work can profoundly change the way you see yourself. When you recognize and understand your parts, you might notice that the things you struggle with—whether it’s anxiety, self-criticism, or a sense of being “stuck”—start to shift. You begin to feel more whole, as though all the scattered pieces of you are coming together.

Making Sense of Inner Conflicts

We’ve all felt conflicted about something at one time or another. Maybe you’re considering a big life change, like switching careers or ending a relationship, but feel like two (or more) parts of you are pulling in different directions. When you start to recognize the specific parts involved, it becomes easier to see what each one is concerned about. For example:

A cautious part may want to keep you in a familiar job because they value safety and stability.

An adventurous part might push for change because they long for growth and new experiences.

When you give each part space to voice their concerns and acknowledge their perspective, you’re more likely to find a path forward that respects the needs of all the parts. It’s not about choosing one over the other but rather integrating their insights to create a balanced decision.

Healing Past Wounds

Painful childhood experiences may have left you feeling unloved, unsafe, or inadequate. Often these wounds don’t fade away, instead, they’re stored in your exiled parts, often lying just beneath the surface. Parts work allows you to gently revisit these wounded parts and offer them the comfort they didn’t receive in the past. It’s about meeting your younger self with compassion and understanding, which can help release stored pain.

Reducing Anxiety and Distress

When anxiety takes over, it’s often because your managers and firefighters are working extra hard. One part might be focused on making sure everything is “perfect,” while another part tries to escape the stress by zoning out. Parts work allows you to listen to the exiles beneath the surface, who may be feeling scared or hurt. As these deeper needs are met, the anxiety or impulsive behaviors often soften, creating room for calm.

Cultivating Self-Compassion

As you get to know your parts, you’ll begin to realize that even your harshest inner critic or most impulsive behavior has a purpose—whether it’s to protect you, keep you safe or distract you from pain. Instead of beating yourself up for these patterns, parts work encourages you to approach each part with compassion. This shift can help you feel more accepting of yourself, even on the days when things don’t go perfectly.

What Can Parts Work Help With?

Parts work is used to treat a variety of emotional and psychological concerns, including:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Complex PTSD
• Addiction
• Relationship Issues
• Self-Esteem and Self-Criticism
• Anger
• Perfectionism and Procrastination
• Body Image Issues
• Grief and Loss

What to Expect During Parts Work

An IFS therapist will guide you in connecting with different parts of yourself in a curious, non-judgmental way. They’ll support you in building relationships with each part. This involves giving your parts the space to express their concerns and helping your core Self—your calm, centered inner leader—to offer comfort, insight and healing. Sessions may involve the following exercises:

Noticing Your Inner Dialogue

Your therapist may prompt you to pay attention to what your parts are saying. They might have you ask yourself:

• “Who is speaking right now?”
• “What does this part want me to understand?”
• “How is this part trying to help or protect me?”

This kind of mindful curiosity can help you identify and connect with the different parts within you.

Naming Your Parts

This involves naming or describing your parts in a way that reflects their roles. For example, you might identify your “Inner To-Do List” who insists on staying busy, your “Worrier” who is frequently concerned about what could go wrong, or your “Seeker” who craves adventure and new experiences. By naming them, you can better understand and relate to them without judgment. 

Speaking to Your Parts

It might sound a little strange, but trying to communicate directly with your parts can help you understand their needs. You could say something like, “I hear you’re worried about me making a mistake. Thanks for looking out for us. I’m going to try this because it’s important to me.” This dialogue helps to soften the harshness and allows you to respond with kindness.

Your IFS therapist might also encourage you to hold a “family meeting” with all of your parts. 

This gives each part a chance to speak and express their concerns. You’ll then invite your Self—the calm, compassionate core of you—to respond to each part with reassurance. This practice can be especially helpful when facing a stressful situation or dealing with an old emotional wound.

Each of these techniques guides you in helping each of your parts find healthy ways to express themselves. When parts feel heard and understood, they tend to be less disruptive and more supportive.

Embracing All Your Parts

Healing through parts work isn’t about achieving perfection. It’s about creating a healthier, more balanced relationship with yourself. Think of it like tending a garden—you’re nurturing growth, clearing out the weeds, and learning to appreciate the unique qualities of each plant. The more you practice connecting with your parts, the more easily you’ll be able to navigate life’s ups and downs with a sense of inner harmony.

Why Work With an IFS Therapist?

Working with an IFS therapist gives you a safe space to explore your inner world. They’re there to guide you, helping you listen to each part with curiosity and compassion. An experienced therapist can also offer techniques to gently access deeper emotions, making the healing process feel less overwhelming. Together, you’ll navigate your inner landscape, helping you heal past wounds, resolve conflicts, and foster a stronger sense of balance and self-acceptance.

Interested in Parts Work with an IFS Therapist?

Meet Elizabeth Bittiker, a Tate Psychotherapy IFS therapist, helping individuals navigate relationship issues, anxiety, self-esteem, women’s issues, family conflict, life transitions, and more. By combining authenticity, science-based treatment, and a touch of humor, Elizabeth helps you explore your inner world, identify your needs and set meaningful goals. If you’re ready to explore the different parts of yourself and find a deeper sense of peace and self-understanding, reach out for a free consultation.

Sources

Schwartz, Arielle. “The Complex PTSD Treatment Manual: An Integrative, Mind-Body Approach to Trauma Recovery.” Eau Claire, Wi, Pesi Publishing, 2021.